Dad's Eulogy by Son My name Sujit Pancratius and we are gathered here today to say farewell to my father Nihal. He wasn’t just our dad, he was also a dear friend, which makes delivering this Eulogy today very difficult. I had a good relationship with Dad, he was a constant throughout my life and we saw each other most days as I only lived a short walk away from him. He would always ask me about my day, sometimes quiz me about my love life, tell the odd not so clean joke, often give advice, although not all of taken and also give me an update on what he has seen my friends doing on Facebook. He was a dad who cared deeply about his wife and his children, Pio, Francesca and I. Although he wasn’t the most gifted at verbally expressing it, we all know he loved us and we most certainly love him. Dad was by no means perfect, but then who is, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and although there were plenty of rocky times growing up, the memories of the great times have a stronger imprint on my memory, so I prefer to focus on those. The first thing that comes to mind, when thinking of dad, is obviously his passion for Music. It was something that really dominated his life from an early age and only seemed to get stronger, the older he got. His voice will be forever be engrained in my memory, and that of all my family, as we had to listen to him practising his songs, day after day growing up. Countless evenings I can remember us telling dad to “turn the noise down” so we could hear the tv. However now the noise has gone, it is so dearly missed. Dad’s life with music, did make things interesting for us, his children growing up. In the late 80’s and throughout the 90’s I have fond memories of the numerous events my dad would organise or perform at, with many of you here today, in attendance. My brother Pio and I would come along for the ride, not only to attend but to be his “Roadies” running behind him, carrying and setting up all the equipment. My dad’s voice booming through the speakers “testing, testing, 1,2,3” as he made sure everything was working. The nights quite vivid in my memory were the “Tamil Talent” shows he held at the Wandsworth Town Hall, I was maybe 8 years old but can clearly remember. It was amazing how he managed to sell out the venue, bringing a community together for one of the first times. I still remember my sense of pride, looking at my dad on stage with a full band performing. People in the audience, dancing and singing along. That was our dad, a musician loved by the crowd, how cool was that. I think the shows were loss making, but Dad never did anything for the money. This was what he enjoyed doing the most in his life, and we enjoyed watching him do it. I am so glad we organised a 60th birthday celebration for him in 2001, so that he could perform in front of his friends once again and we his children could dance whilst he performed. It was a fantastic night and a memory I will cherish dearly. His other lifelong passion was buying and selling equipment. This kickstarted in the mid 90’s when he discovered the newspaper LOOT, which traded second hand goods. My brother and I would regularly be sent down the shops to get the daily copy of the paper, which he would then scour over every morning, looking for bargains. For us kids it was great and there were many exciting road trips involved, when he picked up new goodies. We would have the latest computers, hi fi sets and big screen TV’s before anybody else, it was great. Later it was Keyboards, Guitars, Speaker systems and much more and he loved it and would be on constantly on phone wheeling and dealing and continued to do so, even when he became ill. Character But it wasn’t just music that defined him and I can look back now and recognise how much Dad has actually taught us, by the example he set. Everybody loves my dad. He was a larger than life character, who lit up the room wherever he went. I know for one thing, our family get togethers will never be the same. He was a positive person, always looking for the good in people and rarely did I see him saying an ill word about others, he hated gossip. He was generous with his time, whether that be performing for free or giving advice to his many friends all over the world and I know he called his mother, my Gran everyday, to make sure she was ok. He also had a great sense of humour , a knack for inappropriate but very funny jokes. For these reasons, you will be hard pushed to find somebody who disliked him, It is why they are so many of you here today and why there have been so many tributes flooding in for him since his passing. Unfortunately, in June 2019 Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 stomach cancer. An event that completely flattened us as a family. Dad however dealt with the diagnosis courageously and never felt sorry for himself. His attitude, as always was “that’s life and you have to get on with it”. He had limited options for treatment, as the cancer was so advanced and his ability to eat was severely restricted. He however worked with us, to try every option available to him, as he wanted to fight the disease, despite his Oncology team, constantly discouraging him. Because of his strength we were able to have these last 6 months with him at home, to properly say goodbye. For the last 6 months, his mobility was restricted and his weight was dropping. We can only imagine the suffering he was going through but he was brave and dignified throughout, seldom complaining. One positive from the last 6 months was how close we became as a family unit. It allowed us to show Dad how dearly we love him and how much we love each other. It was beautiful to see Mum and Dads affection for each other. Mum was his dedicated 24hr carer and she was determined to keep him away from the hospital or hospice. She was his rock and supported him for the last 6 months, the way she has supported him for the last 42 years of marriage. On the day he died, 5 of January 2020, we were all by his side but we did not know he was going to leave us. He was peacefully sleeping and by 9.2Opm we had all gone home, leaving just mum by his side. Dad waited till he was alone with Mum and at 9.50pm, he suddenly opened his eyes, launched towards mum and wrapped his arms around her before taking his last breath, as if to say thank you Dad you have left a big gaping hole in our lives but we are so glad you are no longer suffering Rest In Peace Appah. We love you.